|You can alos buy signed prints from my website here: www.spikedmcgrath.com/shop.htm…|
Despite being repeatedly told that all artists drink too much absinthe, cut their own ears off and only make money after they’re dead, I have always wanted to be one. Strangely, I haven’t grown out of it.
If you're interested in commissioning me or purchasing rights to use artwork please email me via: email@example.com
I don't bite, but I will ask for real money.
I can only imagine how touched my uncle would have been to see so many dear and familiar faces here today, to celebrate his life and mourn his tragic passing. No doubt many of you had your reservations about coming- I understand that Uncle's singular personality rubbed some of you up the wrong way.
In his defence I can only say that Uncle Vince was a character- a unique individual. I myself still have strong feelings about some of his habits, exploits, and ventures- the otter-cheese farm, the mandatory zipline to the downstairs toilet, bear boxing- I never supported any of these. Now that dear Uncle is gone, I shan't worry about having to wear pink stockings after nine pm, eating only with spoons, or only turning anti-clockwise in the presence of women.
We may never truly know how Uncle Vince passed away. We may never know how he wandered into the locked greenhouse in the middle of the night, without his protective bee "disguise", stark naked and with two lamb chops and a pork loin taped to his forehead. We may never know how he came to be so riotously drunk as to do that, despite being teetotal. All we can say is that he will be missed, and as the sole inheritor of his massive estate I feel it is my responsibility to thank you all for coming. Cheers.
Now, who's up for canapés?
Today Mum made us go to the museum of unnatural history. It was so lAME. She KNEW I was gonna go shopping with Chloe, but she just HAD to drag us out to some stupid old museum. It smelt of old people and was all boring.
They had this big dragon skeleton in the main hall and everyone was like "wooow" staring up at it as if they were catching flies with their mouths. But I wasn't bothered cause I know that it's only a cast anyway, cause real dragon bones are too valuable to be out like that. Morons.
We were there allllllll afternoon. Like 45 minutes. No phone signal. Nothing. Couldn't even Snapface Chloe to see what she was doing. It's just not fair. Mum knows I'm scared of owlbears, and she still made us go! Josh liked it, and that just makes it worse. He was all like "Oh, Katie look at this fat Yetti, it looks like you". Mum never even told him off. She's always loved him more.
I got an ice lolly though that was good.