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Dear Olympic Comitee,
I watched your last show at London on my telivision and thought it was quite good. However I have some ideas that I think may help you get more people interested in your programme, after all, nobody likes sports these days do they? They're all inside eatin nachos and playing mario warriors. That's why all the kids are so fat!
People say that kids these days play too many voilent video games and it isn't good for thier intellectual and moral development and they shpuld be outside in the fresh air (unless you live in London or somewhere big, where there isn't any!) playing sports and engaging in physcal activities and stuff like that. I dont mean to boast but I'm very clever and got several Bs at school in subjects that are not dance, drama or cooking. Therefore you should listen to my idea which is this:
More fat children will go outside and play sports and like your olympic advertising shows if you make them more like video games. That is to say- more violent.
Here is one such suggestion i have drawn for you on my computer it is called "Surf Jousting". It could also be named Joust surfing or Water pole. The object of the sport is for two men riding the sea waves on surf boards to go towards each other very fast with big poles and twat each other right in the melon. The last one to drown wins. it will be more popular with sharks added.
Please let me know if you think this is a good plan and if I can have some money for suggesting it. i have got more suggestion to offer soon
Yours Sincerly
Tom McGrath
P.S This work is copyright 2013 to me. So don't nick it eh!
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Dear SpikedMcGrath, we are sorry, but due to the required Oceanside location for this event, which severely limits possible cities where the Olympic Games may be held; and the possible fatalities and the subsequent lawsuits, we are unable to introduce your sport into the events held during our programme. It would be possible to install a wave pool into all Olympic stadiums, but that may require severe budget cuts and some cities may become bankrupt due to the extreme cost of installation. We appreciate your initiative and your willingness to help improve our programme without being paid. Please do not be discouraged or offended by our refusal of your event.